socallocally

It's the things you don't expect in life that test your strength........ Im going home to be with my family.... to be with my dad........

So for some reason, in my head, things just got complicated........ It's always my damn poetry class where I read rhymes and verse of people who make you really want to believe in relationships and having someone by your side. It's just, you know once you step into reality people use you and it seems as though hearts are meant to be broken. I am not sure how I feel right now. I can't think about boys AT ALL right now with nats coming up, but I can write about in LJ ha ha ha! I just wish I had a clear head and not fogged images depicting things that shouldn't....can't.... happen. Time for pyscology, heh ironic isn't it? "As for me, I am watercolor. I wash off." Sad but true; but sometimes i just wanna stick... ya know?

So I am back in LB, Cali, after a long drive home from Tempe, AZ! Pretty much it was a fun trip, mellow and relaxing. I don't think there was one down side to the trip.... HOORAY! However, now that this weekends vacation has come and gone it's time to start buckling down for nationals and get my pieces tight! I am excited to see forensics on a national level, and pretty much absolutly stoked to be going. I also can't wait to get back to guarding this summer, I am having absolute withdrawls from the water and teaching swim lessons and the sun, and being tan, and all those other shennanigans associated with lifeguarding. I am being really random right now, lol, and should be getting some sleep. As of now I am helping my little brother with his hw (freshmen english), IMing a thousand people, HW, and LJ..... wow, I actually don't think anyone reading this cares what I am doing at this exact moment ha ha!!!! Anyways, Nats in twoish weeks, lots of practice, Italian pop quizzes with Professoressa Evil E dificile e non simpatico, stuck in the dorms= This week will be FREAKIN AMAZING! Ha ha, im an emo kid! But seriously, coming back from this weekend with a smile and looking forward to the weeks that lie ahead with some amazing people! Buona Notte! Ciao! Ohhh, PS, dance midterm tomorrow, kinda nervouso..........levanta, levanta, tienes que bailar!!!

CLEARLY some people are just soooo fucking dilusional that they think everyone in the world is their biggest fan and would do anything to sabotage thier happiness!!!!!!!!! People like that could jump off a cliff and fly on their big heads. Whatever, one day it will be popped in such a manner that their world will come crashing down and reality will slap them in the face! Well, enough angry emo entries, Im tired and still have hw to finish...... maybe i will include an italian quote..... yes QUOTE, NOT QUOTATION!

So I guess I will just vent about, oh i dunno, life. Well, I will start off by saying that I AM SO GLAD for this past weekend. Districts at Chico was A LOT of fun. It was the first tournament where almost everyone (except smoy dog, but she called every 5 seconds so it was like she was there... and thank god cause I missed her!!) was at and everyone had fun. There was a bar and dance floor in the hotel which proved to be fun. The SF State boys crack me up! Oh, and Trish was dancing in her pj's which was one of my highlights, silly tirshy! The 10 hour car drive wasn't bad either, especially coming home when some confessions were made that will forever linger in my mind under "Wtf?! THAT'S HILARIOUS!". Most of the quals worked out for everyone too, which is completely awesome! I managed to qual out all of my events which I honestly never thought would happen. Below are the qual stats:

CA: qualled on a 1,2,4
DI: qualled on a 2 (golden leg at districts)
Info: qualled on a 1,1,2
POI: qualled on a 2,3,3

But moving on, this weekend was just a relief from all of the stress and anxiety that have been cluttering my thoughts since mid january. I was finally able to escape almost every negative thought for that weekend. I am so lucky to have smoy dog, chipmunk, and tirshy, we really are a dynamic group of chaos, the occasional drama, and fun. At this moment in my life I am caught between being happy that Im single, but still have that longing for the companionship of a boyfriend. It was weird becauase for the longest time (after the breakup with bf of 19 months) I felt jaded from any sort of relationship. I often question whether or not I dislike commitment, or if I just tell myself that to justify my actions. I know im jaded from love though, that im not sure will ever change. I've never really hung onto anything tightly because I have always had to let it go, not just relationships, but friendships, family, etc. I am glad I am apart of something amazing though; my speech team. I thinks it's all the shit I've had to endure, the shit that we've had to endure, that makes me so close to everyone. Well I am sleepy and I feel like I am just carrying on with nonsense. Happy Monday? Yeah, that was dumb. Anyways, arizona vacation this weekend, kinda excited, kinda whatever about it. Hope it's fun, but I don't see how it can't be with smoy and chip!! And a side note: Lost is the best show ever, I was gripped to my ipod on the drive home!!!!